I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
