My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
