peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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