last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
