okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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