i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
