Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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