3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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