porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm sobbing to NWA
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
