is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Randomize
