whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
