I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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