I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
