She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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