She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
