dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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