okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
