i will never coherently bang her
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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