I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
