Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
