I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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