My room smells like vodka and shame
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
