Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
