You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We have so much sex to catch up on
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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