omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
