talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
