Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
