That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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