I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
