you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
