I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
