y did u give ur computer a hand job?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
