remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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