Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
