Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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