one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You can't just leave with hair like that
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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