It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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