I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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