I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
