its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
