Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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