I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
