Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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