im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
where are my eyebrows?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
