I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Still dying that you shit outside
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
