We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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