you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We're too hungover to prance.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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