Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
