bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
