I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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