i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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